First, a belly picture from a 3 or so-ish weeks ago. I have been growing exponentially in the past few weeks…from a recent check up, I’ve gained 18 pounds (which I guess isn’t so bad for almost 7 months) And I thought I would have trouble gaining weight. Hello Holiday season. When this kid is born, I wouldn’t be surprised if the doctors told me that she has gravy in her bloodstream. Every one keeps telling me that I don’t look pregnant from the back, so they proved it by taking a couple of pictures.

I’m almost 27 weeks now, and the books tell me that now is when she starts to pack on the pounds because she’s pretty much done growing lungs and whatnot, so I suppose the roomy apartment my little developing daughter has been living in for the past 7 months is about to turn into a duplex. Despite all things considered, I’m pretty lucky though. I haven’t had any morning sickness, aches and pains, swelling, or unusual cravings for pork chops with strawberry jelly. I’ve also discovered the moment you tell people you haven’t had problems is the moment that something goes wrong.

I’ve been going to the doctor every 2 weeks to monitor my cervix because, as they discovered about 11 weeks into the pregnancy, I have a small cervix. It’s been 16 weeks since the diagnosis, and I have learned several things about this particular diagnosis:

1. Everyone seems to want me to tell them I have had some kind of surgical work done on my cervix because it’s smaller than usual. The same people ask me each time they see me, as if one day I’m going to surprise them and say, “Oh yeah, I remember now! I actually used to be a man. This cervix is just a borrowed one I picked up at the Good Will down the street. Is that unusual?”

2. Even though this condition could potentially push me into an early labor, it’s a pretty darn good time to build up a photo album filled with fetus pictures. I’ve had about 8 or more ultrasounds and gotten pictures each time. The machine is so advanced, they can see the tiniest detail and track her growth journey from sesame seed to pumpkin. One of these times I’m going to ask if they could arrange some kind of background in there with props so we can get Haley posing in front of a winter backdrop for a holiday card.

Despite the 2-week visits to the doctor to load up on ultrasound pics, the whole small cervix thing hasn’t been a problem. Until I said so in an email to a friend about a week ago. I just had to jinx the good luck. The husband and I had plans to visit my inlaws for Christmas in Pittsburgh this year since we spent it with my family last year. When we went in for a routine checkup 2 days before Christmas, the doctor walked in and said the one sentence no one wants to hear.

“I’m sorry to rain on your parade, but…”

This is never a good way to start out any conversation because you know whatever comes next won’t be something you want to hear. It’s not like anyone ever says, “I’m sorry to rain on your parade, but I just won the lottery and I have all these large bills that I was going to give to you, but I don’t know if your purse is big enough.” No, it’s always something quite the opposite. In my case, it was “I’m sorry to rain on your parade, but your cervix seems to be dialating some and I’m going to need you to go to the hospital to make sure you don’t go into early labor.”

And that is where I spent December 23rd through the 26th, my first Christmas together with my husband as a married couple. It was better than it could have been I suppose. I was only there for three days, and during that time I watched the all-day House marathon, experienced a new array of barely edible foods, discovered that it is possible to draw quarts of blood from several places in an arm, and mastered the art of Go Fish. Since escaping from the hospital, I have been ordered by the doctor to be on bed rest for the next 7 weeks (until the baby reaches 34 weeks old). To many, this may seem like a blessing in disguise, but it’s really not as great as it seems considering I’m only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom, take a quick shower, and make a sandwich. I have become very predictable lately.

I guess that means I’ll finally be updating my blog more in the next 8 weeks!